Inside the Mind of the Damaged Hikari
by TheRealBakura
Summary: Told through transcripts and medical records, we see a look inside of Ryou Bakura's life at the age of 11, when he was tortured by Bakura into insanity.
1. Medical Record: 1

DATE: 05/17/1993 (Monday)

DOCTOR: TAYLOR, DANIEL (Child psychiatrist)

PATIENT: BAKURA, RYOU; AGE: 11

Patient has seemed to have harmed himself repeatedly by stabbing himself, attempting to suffocate himself, and has even gone to the stretches of suicide in several ways which have not been recorded. The father of the patient (who is the only living relative of the patient) claims that the patient has been going to church on Sunday mornings, which he had not done until almost three days before the self-harming began.

The patient has been recorded to be hearing a voice in his head, which he calls "Bakura" when speaking to it. When talking about this voice to others, he calls it "Yami" (in the form of "my Yami"), a word literally meaning "darkness". This suggests that the voice the patient hears in his head is a dark spirit of some sort. Whenever patient is questioned about the self-harming, he responds that "his Yami" injured him, or it told him to harm himself. Similar occurrences and blames have been recorded, as a result of schizophrenia.

The patient does not completely seem to be a victim of schizophrenia, however. It could be possible that this "Yami" is a result of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which the patient is a possible victim of. The patient's mother (Lucretia Bakura neé Adii) and younger sister (Amane Bakura) died in a car crash that the patient was also a victim of. However, the patient was the only surviving victim. The patient's father was not in the car at the time, but was at his house when his wife and children were reported injured and/or deceased.

Bipolar disorder is also a possible diagnosis for the patient. He has been known to be extremely angry at this "Yami", or possibly be in tears from something "Yami" said, then be feeling another emotion as intense as the one felt previous. This leads both me and doctors at the hospital the patient is staying at to believe that the patient is suffering from a mix of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and bipolar disorder. However, we cannot be certain to this, as hearing voices in one's head and injuring one's self are not common symptoms of either mental illness, although these symptoms can occur.

It is possible that the child is also suffering from child abuse by his father. If this is true, he continues to deny it, and his father does, as well. The self-harm scars seem too strong and continually applied to fully be self-harm scars, making child abuse a possible conclusion for the boy's injuries. However, this does not explain the mysterious "Yami", who we have been told nothing about except gender (male) and age (16; est.). Schizophrenia is still a possibility for the mysterious "Yami" **'** s existence, but we cannot be sure of our diagnosis as of yet. This makes our prognosis unknown, as well.

DIAGNOSIS: MENTALLY ILL (SCHIZOPHRENIA; BIPOLAR DISORDER; ANXIETY; POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER (PTSD) ETC.); CHILD ABUSE

 **UNSURE OF OFFICAL DIAGNOSIS; ASSUMPTION UNTIL MORE INFORMATION IS RECEIVED.**


	2. Transcript: Ryou at Church

**RECIEVED TRANSCRIPT- BAKURA, RYOU: AT CHURCH (CONFESSION) ON SUNDAY 05/23/1993**

 **RYOU-** Father, I am here for confession. I believe that I have sinned.

 **FATHER MASON-** How, in in what way, young man?

 **RYOU-** I am being harmed, and I believe that I am being punished.

 **FATHER MASON-** What are you being punished for?

 **RYOU-** Existing on this world. Living is a sin, and I have commited this crime by setting foot on this sacred earth. I am being punished for being alive.

 **FATHER MASON-** Is someone hurting you, young man?

 **RYOU-** Yes, Father.

 **FATHER MASON-** Who, might I ask? It is not a sin to be living on this earth, but it is a sin to harm others. Whoever is hurting you is commiting a sin against the church.

 **RYOU-** If I told you who it was that was hurting me, Father, you would not believe me, and you would lose all trust in me. I feel that I must keep my mouth shut. I understand that you cannot read my mind, hear my thoughts, or see my secrets. I know that I must tell you something for you to know it. I don't want you to know what I have to say, because I want to have the trust of my church, and God himself.

 **FATHER MASON-** I understand your reasoning, young man. But I must know who is hurting you.

 **RYOU-** Do you promise never to tell my father about this?

 **FATHER MASON-** I cross my heart, young man.

 **RYOU-** My dark side. A demon.

This was the point where Ryou walked out of the church, unable to see Father Mason's reaction. However, it can be assumed that Father Mason was shocked, explaining why the hospital recieved a call from him that same day, and Ryou was hospitalized again the next (Ryou had been realeased from the hospital three days prior, on Thursday, 05/20/1993).

We can assume, based on this conversation, that Ryou does not want his father to be aware of his "Yami", or, at least, of the idea that he has a dark side.

 **DIAGNOSIS AND PROGNOSIS HAVE NOT CHANGED.**


	3. Medical Record: 2

DATE: 06/02/1993 (Wednesday)

DOCTOR: MUTO, JUNCHI (pediatrician)

PATIENT: BAKURA, RYOU; AGE: 11

The child seems to be hearing a voice in his head and harming himself based on what it says to him. I have read the reports made by Daniel Taylor, stating that the child is a possible victim of:

schizophrenia

bipolar disorder

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

unknown anxiety disorder

child abuse

However, we cannot be sure of this conclusion as of yet, as the child claims "the only thing his father ever did to him was give him love and affection". While the report **does** state this "conclusion" is only an assumption, we cannot be sure that any of these mental illnesses are what is affecting the child. The child was brought to us in critical condition (he was bleeding, covered in slashes (some of which were infected) that were seemingly caused by a knife), shouting to us:

 _"My Yami did it! I didn't hurt myself! My Yami did it!"_

In Daniel Taylor's report, it is stated that "Yami" is the voice the child hears in his head, who harms the child or tells him to harm himself. In the condition in which the child was brought to us, he claims that this voice harmed him. The necklace he wears around his neck seems very important to the child, as he will not take it off, even if he is told to (the child is very loyal, making this seemingly abnormal behavior).

When questioned about it, he claims that "Yami" lives inside the necklace, and "Yami" will die if he takes it off. When told he should take it off because that'll end his problems, he says that "despite what Yami does to him, he cares about him, and wants to let him live". The boy's logic is otherwise unknown. When further questioned about it, the boy responds:

 _"My Yami may hurt me, but he swore that he would never kill me. I have never known a person like that in my life. How could I kill him?"_

The conclusion reached is that the boy loves "Yami", which is unprecedented in almost all cases of schizophrenia. This brings me to the conclusion that the boy is not schizophrenic, but I am unsure of anything else.

 **DIAGNOSIS: NOT SCHIZOPHRENIC**

 **ALL OTHER AREAS OF PREVIOUS DIAGNOSIS REMAIN.**


	4. Medical Record: 3

DATE: 06/08/1993 (Tuesday)

DOCTOR: TAYLOR, DANIEL (Child psychiatrist)

PATIENT: BAKURA, RYOU; AGE: 11

The patient came to me today with stories. Stories in which he was demonstrating behavior of a young child with schizophrenia. However, this conclusion is not possibly true, as Junchi Muto's report concludes that the patient is **not** a victim of schizophrenia. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and anxiety disorders still correspond with a majority of the stories I have been told, which tells me that the patient might be simply suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), an anxiety disorder, or both.

I do not want to make a conclusion as of yet, however. The son of Junchi Muto has been reported having similar issues, although there was no harming involved. Junchi Muto's son was declared schizophrenic for a year before he was finally cured (However, the young boy was not **officially** cured. Schizophrenia can not be cured, being a mental disease). I want to believe that "Yami" is just a voice in the patient's head, or a hallucination of the patient's own mind. The patient is able to describe him very throughly, giving clear examples of "Yami" **'** s appearance, voice, choice of wardrobe, personality and behavior, and even going as far as being able to provide a sort of imagery for "Yami", telling us the texture of "Yami" **'** s skin and hair, and what he would smell of during the day.

To figure out what "Yami" looked like to the patient, we brought in a sketch artist. When comparing the sketches of "Yami" to photographs of the patient, they look very similar, but "Yami" seems more evil-looking and sinister, truly representing the "dark side" of the patient that "Yami" is meant to symbolize. Upon hearing "conversations" between the patient and "Yami", I have determined that "Yami" talks to the patient first, insulting him in several, sometimes unclear ways. The patient will then retort with his good qualities, but he always breaks out in a crying fit by the end of it, making it clear that "Yami" always wins the battle.

After these arguments, the patient displays behavior similar to that of a patient with bipolar disorder. I can reach one of two conclusions: that the patient has both Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and an anxiety disorder, or he has schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I'm not sure which conclusion to reach as of yet, which is why I've given the patient a notebook to use as a diary for the week in order to report on "Yami", and give it to me next week. I will have a report written up within three days after next week's appointment. Hopefully, that report will allow me to draw a conclusion.

 **DIAGNOSIS: ONE OF TWO (POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER (PTSD) AND ANXIETY DISORDER) (SCHIZOPHRENIA AND BIPOLAR DISORDER)**

 **ONE OF THE ABOVE CONCLUSIONS WILL BE REACHED. THE OPTION OF BOTH OR NEITHER IS NOT A PRESENT OPTION.**


	5. Medical Record: 4

DATE: 06/18/1993 (Friday)

DOCTOR: TAYLOR, DANIEL (Child psychiatrist)

PATIENT: BAKURA, RYOU; AGE; 11

The patient had come to me yesterday with 9 entries on "Yami" **'** s behavior. I have taken excerpts from each entry, combining them into a short story explaining "Yami" and what both he and the patient feels is his purpose:

 _"It's the bandages, he says. The bandages that wrap around my skin make him think of a mummy. He says it makes him want to kiss me, but he never does. He never does, no matter how many times he says he will. He still says he loves seeing me in these bandages._

 _" "They're beacause of you," I said._

 _" "I know," he told me._

 _"I screamed. How could he have been so calm about an injury caused by him? I'm his "beautiful Ryou". Why? Why does he mess with my mind this way? It reminds me of the optical illusions I saw one time. The contrasing colors create the illusion of motion. It makes your head spin, and wonder why your eyes and brain make that happen. Bakura makes my head spin as much, and it makes me wonder why he would ever want to hurt an innocent person such as me._

 _"Of course, I am guilty of certain things. I am guilty of being a victim. I am guilty of being a loyal member of the church. I am guilty of no crime. I am an innocent 11-year-old who is also a respectable British citizen. I am not worthy of the injuries that line my skin. I am only worthy of forgiveness. Bakura doesn't give this to me. I wish he would."_

The patient looks as if he is unsure of his own emotions. He needs someone to tell him how to feel, but this abuse by "Yami" is getting in the way of his emotions. I am going to call the Bakura household to schedule the apppointment for next week. However, I have reached a conclusion that has shocked the entirety of doctors.

DIAGNOSIS: POSSESSED


	6. Medical Record: 5

DATE: 6/19/1993 (Saturday)

DOCTOR: WHEELER, JOSEPH SR. (Psychotherapist)

PATIENT: BAKURA, RYOU; AGE: 11

Recorded in the previously made report by Daniel Taylor, Bakura Ryou is apparently possessed. I refuse to believe this, as possession is something seen only in horror movies (ex: The Exorcist) and horror novels (ex: Gretchen McNeil's Possess). This makes me believe Daniel Taylor has run out of options, and is coming to an impossible conclusion as such. While I have yet to see the patient in person, I have no doubt that he is a perfectly normal boy, albeit, with schizophrenia. I know this goes against Junchi Muto's report that the only condition that the child absolutely does not have is schizophrenia, but "Yami" is clearly only a figment of the boy's imagination, and therefore, not a ghost that has possessed his body.

Of course, Junchi Muto did make a good point in his report on the boy's atypical behavior. No sense of affection (by the patient) has ever been seen in any seen case of schizophrenia. This leads me to believe that the boy does not have schizophrenia, but rather, psychosis. The general definition of psychosis is:

 **Psychosis is an abnormal condition of the mind that involves a "loss of contact with reality". People experiencing psychosis may exhibit personality changes and thought disorder. Depending on its severity, this may be accompanied by unusual or bizarre behavior, as well as difficulty with social interaction and impairment in carrying out daily life activities.** *

This description is the boy in a nutshell. According to previous reports made by Daniel Taylor and the single report made by Junchi Muto, the boy does not seem to focus on the people and real-world events around him, focusing only on "Yami" and what happens in his world. He has experienced personality changes, and he also shows signs of thought disorder. His behavior has changed, and has been classified as unusual or bizarre. He has always been a somewhat reclusive person, although it got worse ever since "Yami" became an existing person within the boy's mind. Furthermore, the boy has been so reclusive, he has begun to neglect his chores, and has not been as active as he was prior to "Yami"'s existence (Despite this, he has also neglected eating). In fact, I have two records from Junchi Muto (who is recorded as Bakura's pediatrician) that list the differences in height and weight, along with physical exams that will showcase the difference between times with "Yami" and times without. The report from 3/23/1993 is the report made before "Yami" was formed in the boy's imagination. The report from 5/29/1993 is eleven days after Daniel Taylor's first report, and twelve days after his first visit with the boy.

* * *

Date: 3/23/1993

Patient: Bakura, Ryou; Age: 11

Date of Birth: September 2nd, 1982

Height: 4' 9 ½" (Four feet; Nine and a half inches)

Weight: 102 lbs. 3 oz. (One hundred and two pounds; Three inches)

The boy seems to be in very healthy shape, being able to run a mile within 15 minutes and being lightweight. He has a good breathing rate, and has an average heartbeat of 104 bpm (beats per minute).

* * *

Date: 5/29/1993

Patient: Bakura, Ryou; Age: 11

Date of Birth: September 2nd, 1982

Height: 4' 5" (Four feet; Five inches)

Weight: 79 lbs. 6 oz. (Seventy-nine pounds; six ounces)

The boy's height has decreased by 4 ½ inches (9 ½ - 5), and he has lost 22 pounds and 7 ounces (102.3 - 79.6). His breathing is either too heavy or too light at times; it is never at a good rate. His heartbeat has gone down to 56 bpm (beats per minute); his heart rate was double prior to this visit. He was healthy before, but he is now underweight and under-height. I am beginning to worry about the boy's health.

* * *

As is seen, the boy's auditory and visual hallucinations caused a change in physical health as well as his mental health. This proves that the boy is psychotic.

 **DIAGNOSIS: PSYCHOSIS**

* * *

*Definition from the Wikipedia article on Psychosis


End file.
